I talk a lot about my kids in general. But I know I ramble more about the “when they were little” phases. You know sleepless nights, potty training, and teething.

When they are little all those problems you encounter are new and seem huge and hard to manage. You aren’t sure what to expect. And not to mention you are dealing with them on very little sleep and even less caffeine because of course you don’t know where you left your coffee this morning! Even after working with kids in one capacity or another for more than 10 years before having my first child, I still didn’t know things. I guessed… A lot! I knew the development. I knew the rough ages of what they should be learning and when. I knew how to potty train. I knew I didn’t want them to have a pacifier past one year (insert eye roll here).

Now don’t get me wrong. I have GREAT kids. Honestly! For the most part, they are respectful, well behaved, mostly good listeners, and they have good hearts. They drive me nuts a lot of the time but all in all I can’t complain and honestly, I’m not sure it is because of me. But I digress.

See what I am noticing though is that we are moving into this new phase. Most of you know it or at least remember it. It is this time of finding your voice and who you are, being awkward, making bad decisions and even worse fashion statements. We are entering… the TWEEN years. (Bum bum buuuuuum)

But see these are not the years I am accustomed to. I don’t know how to handle these years, especially for boys! I barely made it through these years as a girl (which I am also not looking forward to in about 8 years with Mermaid). I surely was not paying attention to how my male cohorts experienced these years. Now yes, my husband is familiar and takes an active role in these situations but where are the I’m a mom of a tween boy posts. For real though, can you moms who have been there, done that start making infographics and blogs and quick study stuff for these years because it is happening and happening fast!

Here’s what I have learned so far… It isn’t much as we are just about to hit 11 so follow up with me in say 2-4 years and I’ll let you know how wrong I was

• Try to remember at this point privacy is becoming a big thing. Knocking on doors, giving them alone time, etc. It teaches them to respect your space as much as they would like theirs respected.
• They still need hugs and kisses. They may not show it often, but they still have a little bit of little kid in them that needs the affection.
• They are finding their voice and sometimes they can cut you deep (because, SURPRISE, they legit are with you now). But if you listen to what they say, you may just realize that they are telling you exactly what they need, just maybe in a jumbled mess of big emotions
• Their interests can literally be anything. With as much as I would love to not listen to a 30 minute lecture on the healing power of 3 common crystals, or a 15 minutes diatribe on a Pokémon I have never even heard of, or have him talk to me in sentences that have 1 or 2 words replaced with their Latin counterpart, I also will NEVER squash those interests because they are important to him.
• I need to reach out more. I can’t expect him to come to me. He is too anxious of a person and too timid to admit that he “doesn’t know” something and so I have to go to him and sneak in those little lessons through a back door conversation

See it isn’t much, but I’m learning also. I’m learning to apologize when I do something wrong. I am learning that I have to deal with my emotions appropriately if I want them to do the same (oh hey ADHD and anxiety! Thanks for that!). I am trying to get better about privacy for all of my children, because it is about respect. I know I am going to screw up. He’s the first. But we will still get through this together. And I am hoping that taking the time this year to really learn and bond with each other, it will be a huge step in the right direction.

I can say this… He still hugs me and tells me he loves me and that means the world to me❤️ So maybe I’m doing something right🤷‍♀️