Tag: parenting

The Perfect Life

ChelseaLeave a comment

I have been thinking about this for a week. I wasn’t sure if I was going to write it. But I think I need to. I need to for me and I need to for the mom or dad who is struggling and needs to know they aren’t alone.

A little back story. My oldest has had a rough couple weeks. Like seriously… rough. He is at the age of testing boundaries and feeling like he is grown enough to make his own choices but is still only 9 so those choices are not always the greatest. He got in trouble for a myriad of things and therefore was not allowed to participate in a play date with friends. I wanted to spend time with her and her family, so I was not about to cancel something that my 2 other kids and I were looking forward to because *he* couldn’t make the right choice, especially because I had already done that with another friend that week. While hanging out at the playground, my friend couldn’t believe that my child was in trouble. She even said that she thinks of my life as perfect and that my kids could never do anything wrong. (If you are that friend, seriously this isn’t about what you said, I love you and this is just because I want you to know your life is no less perfect than mine😘)

I am here to tell you…. it isn’t and he did.

Because I am not perfect. I am far from perfect. I yell, I cry, I am lazy and somedays I struggle holding my little life together. My house is a mess more days than not. I am horrible at communicating my needs (ask my husband). I live with anxiety and a form of depression. I read books to learn to be a better person because I am not fully the person I want to be or saw myself being. I forget things on a regular basis, like moving laundry, calling my parents back, taking stuff to goodwill, and even making doctors appointments for my children’s well visits. I rarely have a good night’s sleep and I take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I spend WAY too much time on my phone, which causes me to think I am failing in all sorts of ways (you know what I am talking about…). I have trouble letting go of things (both physical and mental) even though I know my life would be less chaotic if I did. I worry about things that I said to someone 3 years ago. I drink way too much coffee and I relax with a glass of wine or 2 a couple times a week. I let things slip through the cracks that I know I shouldn’t.

My children are not perfect either. They are good kids, don’t get me wrong. Honestly, if there is one thing I am confident in, it is being a mom. I will always do my best to aim them in the right direction. But that doesn’t mean they won’t stray. They have their own free will and they are going to make the wrong choices. It is part of growing up. My job is to show them that their actions, good or bad have consequences. They have attitudes, they don’t want to do chores, and they get their Switch taken away at least 2x a month. They have lied, hurt things and people, attempted to steal (yep, not a proud moment for me), thrown fits, yelled, got toys taken away, haven’t clean up after themselves, and pissed me off more times than I can count.

My kids are homeschooled, as most of you know. But that doesn’t mean our days always go smoothly. They get frustrated with school, just like every kid. They hate when things get hard and they don’t get it right away. They don’t like doing busy work that seems like it has no reason for it. They would prefer to play video games or go outside or play with LEGO. They hate to write, complain about math, and science and history are almost non-existent right now because I was tired of fighting about them. Some days I want to give it up and put them in public school. But honestly it just isn’t for our family. My stresses would increase 10 fold if I did and, yes, part of the reason I homeschool is because of my own stress. #callmeselfishidontcare

I aim for perfection. I rarely hit my target. But I struggle when I don’t hit it because I am a perfectionist. I want the perfect house with the perfectly groomed kids who always listen and I meet each day with a joyous attitude and everything is beautifully decorated and has a place. I want the Instagram dream life. This is a dream that will never happen. Not until they are out of the house at least, and then I am going to miss these days because it will be quiet and I will be drinking hot coffee and reading a book and missing stepping on LEGO and playing tea party.

In reality, at this exact moment, I have a 2 year old who just finished her first of probably 3 movies of the day. My 7 year old is throwing a Scentsy Scentpak around and then running after it (not really sure why) while dressed in dress pants and a torn tee shirt. And my 9 year old is getting frustrated that the 7 year old keeps running in front of his video game while wearing long sleeves and sweat pants despite being told at least twice that it is too hot for that. None of their teeth are brushed because they ran out of toothpaste yesterday morning and I didn’t want to go to the store. I have dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink, laundry in the washer and dryer that has been there for 3 days, my bathrooms are gross, our dining/school room are a mess, there is a random bag of rubber bands strewn about my couch along with a ton of Duplo. We won’t be doing any school today, just like every Friday, because I. don’t. want. to. My hair is up in the same bun since Wednesday night, I am in the pjs I wore yesterday, I’ll shower when I can (probably naptime), and I have a zit on my forehead. I can tell I am having a rough mental day, although I haven’t lost my crap today (yet)! I am behind on orders and working with my UBAM business. I still have to run to the store to get the stuff for the beach that I forgot last week and the stuff I forgot for our dinner tonight and toothpaste since I didn’t know we were out.

My life isn’t perfect. If you look at my pictures, they are cropped because of the mess in the background. I show my kids reading, because yes they like to do that, but they also like to play with swords and at least once a day someone is hurt by their brother or sister. My dogs still have accidents in the house. I will loose my temper today. You may see a picture of my little one in a cute mermaid dress with a coordinating bow, but it probably took me 5 tries to get her smiling or not blurred. I am not perfect and my life isn’t perfect. But this morning, I woke up and I kissed my husband who loves me unconditionally in our messy unmade bed (and it will stay that way). I got my 3 kids up and ready in (probably) clean clothing and fed them decently healthy breakfasts. The boys have already destroyed their room with LEGO, my Mermaid is being a great “Mommy” to her babies. They are home with me. They are learning through life. We are figuring out things together. It isn’t Instagram worthy. It is messy, tiring, and not usually pretty. But just like your life, it isn’t perfect, but it is still great in its imperfections.

April Preschool Activities: Weather

ChelseaLeave a comment

🎶🌞Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun
Please shine down on meeeee.🌞🎶

I seriously love teaching preschoolers. I love the relaxed curriculum while learning big things through play. Before being a mom I taught infants to 4 year olds for almost five years on top of babysitting most of my teen years and helping my mom in her daycare out of our house in my middle school and elementary years. Needless to say, if there is one thing I confidently know, it is children. I know some of you are lost when it comes to preschoolers. What do you teach them? How do you teach them? Where? When? Do they ever stop moving? (No!) Is everything messy? (Yes!) Do they have to sit still forever, because I don’t know how long they will last if they have to sit. I will admit, I am not scared of a mess. I don’t like it when they make them but it is just a part of life these days

We use unit study themes for our house at this age (Mermaid is 2 years and 2 months) because it gives them a long time to work within a theme and continue working on the same skills and knowledge. Repetition is key for children. But so is fun and engaging learning through play and reading! I will pull these out to keep her busy for 10-20 minutes so that I can work with her brothers on their school work, clean something up, or get dinner going. When she is done, we clean it up and move on. While she is playing, even if I am not right next to her, I will still be talking with her about what she is doing and experiencing.

Our pillars of learning:
1- Reading- A basket of books relating to the topic. These are always accessible for her and we read them at least once a day. Maybe not all the way through if she is being busy but we will read as long as she will sit.
2- Sensory- Sensory play is SO important for cognitive development. It helps with emotional responses, it helps with problem solving, language skills, aids in memory development, and encourages motor skill development.
3- Motor skill work- Gross and fine motor skills are the building blocks to almost any kind of movement your child will ever do. When thinking about motor skills you want them to focus on the big muscles (GROSS: think legs, arms, back) and the small muscles (FINE: think fingers, hands, and feet).
4- Art- Fun exploration of different mediums encourages them to find creative ways to model the world around them.

So each month we will focus on these things and will switch them our daily, weekly, or monthly depending on the activity:

Weather Reading: (Switched out monthly based on theme)
Our book basket this month includes:
The Sunny Day- Anna Milbourne
The Windy Day- Anna Milbourne
Lift the Flap Questions and Answers: Weather- Katie Daynes
Oh Say, Can you Say What’s the Weather Today?- Tish Rabe

Other Titles I suggest are found here:

If you buy from this site, I am an independent consultant and will earn a commission from the sale.

Sensory: (Switched out weekly but played with daily; Could also be prepped and allow them to choose which one they want to do each day)

Bin #1: Stormy weather: Black Beans, Cotton Balls, Pipe Cleaner Lightning

Bin #2: Snowy weather: Floof and mini snowman pieces (these pieces are choking hazards so please monitor your children)

Bin #3: Rainbow dyed rice, pom poms, tongs, and color sorting cups

Bin #4: Blue water beads with Ivory soap clouds (this was really fun to do with my 7 and 9 year old and then use it for Mermaid’s sensory bin

Microwave Ivory soap for 1 minute. Remove what expanded and do it again for 1 minute

Motor Skills: At least one of these is done daily. If she chooses to do more, we will do one but that is also why they are pretty easy prep and mostly easy to clean

Puddle Jumping– Construction paper “puddles” and jump from one to another. (Older kids, add letters of their name or numbers and have them jump in order)

Sponge cloud: Use a dropper to pull up water and then drip it on a sponge. How much water is needed before the sponge starts “raining”

Rainbow Color mixing– Put sizable dabs of paint in a zipper storage bag. (Red and yellow, red and blue, blue and yellow, red blue and yellow) Seal the tops. Allow children to use their hands, rollers, etc to mix the colors together. What new colors are they making?

Cloud writing: This can be a pre writing or writing activity. Use lines, curves and angles for pre writing, or use letter and number to develop writing skills. Use shaving cream, whipped cream, or similar and put on a plate. Have them use their fingers, paintbrush, cotton swab, or other utensil to write the same letter/shape that is on an index card. Spread the cream back out and start a new one! (Be careful of some shaving creams and the menthol level, it can burn some children and watch for food allergies if using whipped cream or other food based product)

Make and decorate a rain stick– Using a paper towel tube, glue a few cotton balls at different intervals inside the tube. On one end create and glue on a cap from card stock. Secure with a piece of ribbon glued around the edge to get a better finish. Fill 1/4 with beans or rice. Create a cap and secure the other end. Allow to dry and then paint and decorate.

Art: This is done just a couple times a week (No you do not have to keep everything your child ever makes. Put them on the fridge for the week they did them until they do something different and then, in the words of Elsa, “LET IT GO!” Some of our art projects this month:

Cotton ball clouds glued to paper
Paper Kite
Solar Prints on Constructions paper
Rolling Pin Rainbow
Water Drop Printing
Rainbow Milk Jug Wind Sock
Paper Plate Sun
Wind Painting

So that is it. That is the type of things we do on a daily basis. It probably wouldn’t even take an hour to do all of it at one time but that rarely happens. I hope you enjoy the weather activities. If you want to see where I got most of the ideas you can check out my Pinterest Board for Tot School: Weather here. I will always change mine up a bit from what they do though because that is just who I am.

If you want to follow along with some of our activities, you can also join my group on Facebook. I will be reading one of the books live for story-time each week on Tuesday at 10am (EST) and I will be sharing recipes, going live and doing other activities!

Want to get these ideas in more detail? Sign up for my email list and get a monthly email with more in depth activities lists and instructions.

Until next time…

Boys aren’t harder… Children are hard

Boys aren’t harder… Children are hard

ChelseaLeave a comment

So something set me off a little. Someone said teaching boys is “harder” than girls. Let me first say this, I have taught both at the preschool level. Girls tend to be quieter and calmer, but not always. Boys are a completely different beast than girls. Biologically, physiologically, psychologically, they are different. But does that mean they are harder? NO! A loud and resounding no!

We need to get it out of our heads that boys “being boys” is a bad thing or that they are trying to make things more difficult for us. Don’t get me wrong, I have two boys. They wear me out. They talk back, they argue, they fight, they never stop moving, and they make me want wine more nights than not. (Sorry, not sorry!) But you know what, my daughter is 2 and also talks back, and argues (as well as a toddler can), and fights with swords, and ALSO never stops moving. Those are not boy/girl qualities. Those are natural personality traits that also are taught or nurtured in them.

My boys are very different creatures. Monkey is 9 years old. He is a talkative but sensitive soul. He thrives on perfection and words of affirmation. He loves cuddles and kisses on his terms but he will do anything to help anyone at any time. He also is logical, loves to learn and is very susceptible to the messages being sent to him through body language, spoken words, print and anything else. Monster is 7. He is loud, never stops moving from the time his feet hit the floor in the morning until he passes out each night. He loves running, jumping, isn’t always talkative but loves to tell stories. He has an imagination like no one else and a confidence I could only ever dream of. He is the sweetest most caring kid in the world and he loves to snuggle. He is the definition of ride-or-die and is always along for whatever adventure someone wants to go on. He just wants to spend time with you and will do anything for attention.

With that being said there are a few things I have learned from teaching these two very different kids the past 5 years (Geez… how has it already been that long).

  1. Meet them where they are. Stop listening to what they “should” know. That is arbitrary when they don’t already know it. Your 5 year old doesn’t know their colors? Not a big deal. Spend a week sorting colors, doing color hunts, pointing out colors everywhere. Your 5th grader doesn’t understand multiplication? Spend the year really delving into it. Helping them understand the concept, then the basics, then the tables, then how to understand what a multiplication problem may look like in the real world. Just work with them on what they need for the foundations that go to the next step, whatever that may be. You would be surprised at how easy the next step is when they actually grasp the principle before it.
  2. If they are a mover, don’t try to keep them still. All this does is frustrate them and you. Monster learned to read jumping up and down at a table. He is a strong reader, even if he doesn’t always like doing it. Was it frustrating to watch him bounce constantly while trying to sound out words… yes. But it was more frustrating to try to stop him and him whine and complain that he didn’t want to do it. Now at some point do they need to learn to sit still. Yes. But that point isn’t at 5. Kids want to move. Let them. (Also, to this day he prefers to stand to do work or sit on a balance ball. He has stopped jumping though). No matter the subject, movement can be part of it.
  3. Keep it simple. The first 3 years (K-2nd) I keep it so simple: Math, Reading, and Writing. Then I add in difficulty as they are able to. History, Geography, Science, it all comes. In 4th grade, Monkey is doing some science and History. We are doing Geography through cooking. It is a lot of hands on. If your child reads to learn, give them lots of rich books about the topic you are working on. If your child learns by watching, documentaries or accurate movies are great.
  4. When you don’t know, learn with them. My kids will ask questions I don’t know. We look up the answer together. We both learn something new and they love that they stumped me. And they love that I take the time to do it with them.
  5. When the day is hard, stop. We have the luxury in our state, to not have to log hours or days. This gives us the freedom to do as we wish when it comes to timing. If I am having a rough day (as I do with my own mental health) I will try to take a step back. What is better for them in the long run? Learning those lessons with Mommy losing her mind with frustration (Yeah, I am far from perfect and I am still learning to not take out my frustrations on my family), or taking the day off so that I can focus on me and they can have fun. I can tell you, I don’t know what I learned on what day in school. I do remember being told as a senior in high school on a particularly stressful day, that I wasn’t going to school and I was having my books taken away from me. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as it didn’t involve school. And that mindset shift led to me getting straight A’s for the first time ever.

I am not saying teaching boys is easier. But teaching boys isn’t any harder than teaching girls. It isn’t an issue with their sex. It is learning to teach to each child’s way of learning. That is why it is so difficult for public school teachers to teach so many students. What works for one, doesn’t work for the other. It isn’t their fault. They have 30 kids in their class with all different styles. I almost guarantee that we would have been told at least one of our children has ADD or ADHD or are even just “problem” children. Are they? Maybe. There are certain things like a lack of focus and inability to complete a task that may warrant a discussion. But they are 7 and 9. They are still learning. Just like Mermaid will still be learning at that age. Will it look different? Probably. Will it be harder? Not if I trust myself and listen to my child, even when they aren’t talking (no matter how rare that is).

Warmer times

Warmer times

ChelseaLeave a comment

Do you get the winter blahs? Seriously! Every stinking year… January and February are so hard for me to get motivation or want to do anything. This year, it started out ok. The beginning of January seemed like I would be fine. Then the end of January hit and something was off. I did add the Usborne Books & More business which has added a new commitment. Not in a bad way. Actually it is a lot more prosperous than I think I have ever been with a DS/MLM business. But it is also what comes natural to me. Books and kids… kinda a no brainer for me. But still it was something else I added to my plate.

February hit though and life got hard. I don’t know why. I don’t know what changed. I didn’t want to clean. I didn’t want to craft (What?! I know…) I didn’t really even want to get out of bed. Yet, children needed to be fed, and schooled, and shuttled places… Groceries needed to be bought, orders had to go out, but I still just wanted to be in bed. I definitely think I have a mild Seasonal Affective Disorder thing going on. I am like this more winters than not. Being cooped up because of the never ending snow, rain, and ice this month has been horrible. However, the kids loved the snow! Mermaid even sledded for the first time and she LOVED it. She is such a little dare-devil. She may get many things from me, that is not one of them.

We even took an extra week of homeschooling off just because. I couldn’t motivate myself, how could I think I could motivate them. One of the joys of homeschooling though. If I don’t want to, we don’t have to. If they don’t want to, we don’t have to. Snow day? Take off. Finally a sunny day? Take off. Family coming to visit? Take off. We always catch up. We always finish. Some years just look a little longer. But it is one of the reasons we do what we do.

But I just wanted to remind you all, even if you are having a hard day, hard week, hard month. The warmer days are right around the corner. Things are opening back up. Life is going on. Don’t forget to live it! Happy March! May your spring bring life back into your blahs!