So something set me off a little. Someone said teaching boys is “harder” than girls. Let me first say this, I have taught both at the preschool level. Girls tend to be quieter and calmer, but not always. Boys are a completely different beast than girls. Biologically, physiologically, psychologically, they are different. But does that mean they are harder? NO! A loud and resounding no!

We need to get it out of our heads that boys “being boys” is a bad thing or that they are trying to make things more difficult for us. Don’t get me wrong, I have two boys. They wear me out. They talk back, they argue, they fight, they never stop moving, and they make me want wine more nights than not. (Sorry, not sorry!) But you know what, my daughter is 2 and also talks back, and argues (as well as a toddler can), and fights with swords, and ALSO never stops moving. Those are not boy/girl qualities. Those are natural personality traits that also are taught or nurtured in them.

My boys are very different creatures. Monkey is 9 years old. He is a talkative but sensitive soul. He thrives on perfection and words of affirmation. He loves cuddles and kisses on his terms but he will do anything to help anyone at any time. He also is logical, loves to learn and is very susceptible to the messages being sent to him through body language, spoken words, print and anything else. Monster is 7. He is loud, never stops moving from the time his feet hit the floor in the morning until he passes out each night. He loves running, jumping, isn’t always talkative but loves to tell stories. He has an imagination like no one else and a confidence I could only ever dream of. He is the sweetest most caring kid in the world and he loves to snuggle. He is the definition of ride-or-die and is always along for whatever adventure someone wants to go on. He just wants to spend time with you and will do anything for attention.

With that being said there are a few things I have learned from teaching these two very different kids the past 5 years (Geez… how has it already been that long).

1. Meet them where they are. Stop listening to what they “should” know. That is arbitrary when they don’t already know it. Your 5 year old doesn’t know their colors? Not a big deal. Spend a week sorting colors, doing color hunts, pointing out colors everywhere. Your 5th grader doesn’t understand multiplication? Spend the year really delving into it. Helping them understand the concept, then the basics, then the tables, then how to understand what a multiplication problem may look like in the real world. Just work with them on what they need for the foundations that go to the next step, whatever that may be. You would be surprised at how easy the next step is when they actually grasp the principle before it.
2. If they are a mover, don’t try to keep them still. All this does is frustrate them and you. Monster learned to read jumping up and down at a table. He is a strong reader, even if he doesn’t always like doing it. Was it frustrating to watch him bounce constantly while trying to sound out words… yes. But it was more frustrating to try to stop him and him whine and complain that he didn’t want to do it. Now at some point do they need to learn to sit still. Yes. But that point isn’t at 5. Kids want to move. Let them. (Also, to this day he prefers to stand to do work or sit on a balance ball. He has stopped jumping though). No matter the subject, movement can be part of it.
3. Keep it simple. The first 3 years (K-2nd) I keep it so simple: Math, Reading, and Writing. Then I add in difficulty as they are able to. History, Geography, Science, it all comes. In 4th grade, Monkey is doing some science and History. We are doing Geography through cooking. It is a lot of hands on. If your child reads to learn, give them lots of rich books about the topic you are working on. If your child learns by watching, documentaries or accurate movies are great.
4. When you don’t know, learn with them. My kids will ask questions I don’t know. We look up the answer together. We both learn something new and they love that they stumped me. And they love that I take the time to do it with them.
5. When the day is hard, stop. We have the luxury in our state, to not have to log hours or days. This gives us the freedom to do as we wish when it comes to timing. If I am having a rough day (as I do with my own mental health) I will try to take a step back. What is better for them in the long run? Learning those lessons with Mommy losing her mind with frustration (Yeah, I am far from perfect and I am still learning to not take out my frustrations on my family), or taking the day off so that I can focus on me and they can have fun. I can tell you, I don’t know what I learned on what day in school. I do remember being told as a senior in high school on a particularly stressful day, that I wasn’t going to school and I was having my books taken away from me. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as it didn’t involve school. And that mindset shift led to me getting straight A’s for the first time ever.

I am not saying teaching boys is easier. But teaching boys isn’t any harder than teaching girls. It isn’t an issue with their sex. It is learning to teach to each child’s way of learning. That is why it is so difficult for public school teachers to teach so many students. What works for one, doesn’t work for the other. It isn’t their fault. They have 30 kids in their class with all different styles. I almost guarantee that we would have been told at least one of our children has ADD or ADHD or are even just “problem” children. Are they? Maybe. There are certain things like a lack of focus and inability to complete a task that may warrant a discussion. But they are 7 and 9. They are still learning. Just like Mermaid will still be learning at that age. Will it look different? Probably. Will it be harder? Not if I trust myself and listen to my child, even when they aren’t talking (no matter how rare that is).