Tag: life with kids

Momming Basket

ChelseaLeave a comment

Yep you read that right. Momming. Nope it isn’t a real word but I am not talking about a morning basket and for lack of a better imagination Momming is the best I came up with.

Most homeschoolers by now have heard of a morning basket. A calm start to the say where you can read, play, and just work into the day. These are beautiful ways to start the morning with your children. From poetry or reading to board games and beads, your morning basket can be anything you want it to be and be used anyway you want it to be also. But enough about that because that isn’t what you came here for. You came here for a momming basket.

What is a Momming Basket?

Well just like a morning basket helps ease the children into the day, a momming basket eases YOU into the day. That is, it helps you go from sleeping to functioning in a basic but productive, engaging, positive way. It is the beginning of your day signaling your brain that sleep is no longer an option however maybe the waking hours aren’t all that bad. And it eases your brain and body into a basic functioning level to be ready for the demands and requests from the beautiful little monsters you corral each day.

Basic

We are not looking to disprove the theory of evolution here. We are simply trying to wake up the brain. Make it think about more than R-O-Y-G-B-I-V and Fractions., while also not over working it to the point that it gives up and can barely think of names. You want this to be light thinking. My favorites are EASY crosswords (they make me feel smarter when I do them on my own) or Sudoku. I also found this fun Jeopardy Challenge crossword book at my local Barnes & Noble that lets you solve jeopardy clues to find in the word search. I love Jeopardy (RIP Alex Trebek, it isn’t the same with out you) so this is just a fun little incentive for me to do it more.

Another option would be learning a new language. I am committing to learning more ASL this year so I am doing a shorter basics class on Udemy. I also am taking a break at this point but will eventually pick back up DuoLingo for Italian and Japanese. 5-10 minutes for a lesson is perfect for a momming basket because it doesn’t take up a ton of time but it isn’t so short you feel like you aren’t learning anything.

Engaging

You want to look forward to it. Help it be one of the reasons you look forward to getting out of bed in the morning. Or not. You could sit it right next to your bed and do it before you even rise for the day. If am the person that if I stay in bed I will just go back to sleep so the faster I get up and moving the better off I will be. Plus, I am not really awake until I have had that first sip of coffee in the A.M. This can mean that it have something fun for you to do. What do you enjoy doing? Something with your hands would be a great addition. Think coloring, knitting/crocheting, cross-stitch, painting (a little messier but you do you boo-boo), drawing, even painting your fingernails. Something that gets your hands moving and lets a little creativity out!

No one is going to see this if you don’t want them to. You can be as creative as you want and you don’t have to be good at it. You just have to enjoy it. Do you love to draw but don’t think you are good? Draw anyway, or better yet follow a drawing channel on YouTube. I love Art for Kids Hub because I can follow along and they make me feel like I am a really good artist. They also have a few tutorials on Art Next that is geared for older people that I really enjoyed and thought were excellent. Have you always wanted to learn how to knit. Watch some how to videos and make small dishrags until you get the hang of it and are more comfortable with making more intricate things.

Positive

You could also find yourself buying or creating a journal for thoughts actions and gratitude. Think of 3 things each day that your are thankful for. It is also a little boring to write that you are thankful for your house, and husband and kids. And while those are important, I definitely think you could probably be a little more original. Journaling is just one of many ways you can do all of these things. You could choose to do a video, a dream/vision board, read a book or anything that helps you have a positive outlook on the day

Last, you want this to be full of those feel good feelings because we want to start the day off right and seep that positive energy into our body and surrounding environment. This can be as easy as a short (or long) meditation. Focusing on your breathing and inhaling positive and exhaling negative

How do you implement this?

So when do you find the time to do this? Well if you are like me you have 2 options. Set the alarm clock for 1 hour before your children get up. Hit snooze 4 times and then get to it while your children are all (semi)settled with breakfast but have to cut it short because milk just got spilled and then you forgot and so you will finish it when you get home later.

Or… If you have any sense of self-control and the ability to wake up on time for anything in their life, you can do it before your children wake up or after if you have the ability to enjoy it while your children are jumping off the refrigerator. Oh, that is just mine? Cool.

This isn’t meant to last all day or even half the day it is just something for you to do to take care of your brain and your mental care. I wouldn’t dedicate more than about 30minutes to an hour to it. 15 minutes is even enough to get this started. If you don’t finish something you can put it off until tomorrow. Like I said, this isn’t going to be seen by anyone else, This is just for you. Have fun with it and come back and show me what you put in your first momming basket.

Get Outside This Fall

ChelseaLeave a comment

I know what you are thinking. I MUST be crazy to start wanting to get outside more right as the weather starts getting colder. You aren’t wrong. I am crazy. I hate cold weather. Which means I need to do it. Why? Because it shows not only my children but myself that I can do things I don’t want to. That I can handle hard things. That when motivation is down, a lot can be said for enjoying time in nature. I truly believe that time in nature can help cure most bad days.

Chalk Drawing with Monkey

But what do I do? How do I get outside when I don’t want to. First, I say yes more than I say no. I swear kids have this innate sense to be outside. And that the more they are outside, the more they want to be outside. Weird but true. So when my kids ask to go outside, unless I have a pressing reason (like it is a bad storm, not we have to make lunch), I say yes as long as we can be outside for 15 minutes. You would not believe how quickly 15 minutes goes and it adds up so fast! Before you know it, you will be at 50 hours in 2 weeks just like us.

Download the fill printable below!

But I also have this fun printable for you to be able to check things off of (mostly) free things to do with your kids this fall! Don’t have kids? No problem, they all can be done sans kids with enough imagination and carefree will!

Download it HERE!

Why I chose to attempt the 1000 Hours Outside Challenge

ChelseaLeave a comment

Have you ever just felt called to do something? It isn’t often that I get this feeling but every once in a while, I just know I am doing the right thing. I felt it with being a mom. I felt it with staying home and homeschooling. I felt it with this. Notice how it all centers around my kids? Yeah. There are mistakes I have made in my life. So many choices I have wondered or known weren’t the best. But my kids are not even close to one of them. With them, I know I am meant to be their mama. And I know I needed to attempt this challenge.

I love my children dearly, but with 4 pulling me in different directions, we have gotten away from time. Time together, time to ourselves, and time with nature. In this digital age, everything is instant gratification. Everything is here and now. But in nature, you have to wait for the ground to thaw, the plants to bloom, the leaves to fall, and the sun to rise. It always happens but only on its own time. I used to feel a connectedness to nature. Like I was home when I was outside. Some of my favorite memories from growing up are from being outside. I remember being outside from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep practically in the summer. I remember being on my bike the entire day, rolling down the neighborhood hills.

Grandma and I gardening

This past year we had a great school year. We did a lot more together, it was more organized and we had so much fun (well if you ask me, if you ask Monkey and Monster, they probably have a different idea of how it went). But I still felt like something was missing. Then I read Call of the Wild+Free by Ainsley Arment (not an affiliate, just a fan) and wow. Then I read Home Grown by Ben Hewitt (also not an affiliate). I felt such a purity in the way they were living life. Exploring nature, spending time connecting to Earth and each other, living off of their land and it just called to me. This is what is missing. In my wanderings through the internet, I came across 1000 Hours Outside page and a wonderful community started and growing through the efforts of Ginny Yurich. We all know how competitive I am, so naturally we were going to do 1000 hours. But see, I didn’t think about it. I didn’t plan for it, and we fell WAY short. Because 1000 hours outside doesn’t seem like much until you calculate that that is almost 2.75 hours a day! Do you spend 3 hours outside a day? Yeah, most people don’t. So it takes some serious intentional planning. So I’ve started my plans. And along the way it may turn into not having to. But right now I have to say yes, when I want to say no. I have to make the plan, when I want to stay home.

Monkey has a screen addiction, lets face it my whole family does. But screens affect his mood a lot more than the rest of us. He eats, sleeps, and breathes screens. Shows, games, now web searches, and it doesn’t matter what. Tinkerbell, Barbie, Pokémon, if a screen is on, it has his attention. So to break us all of the habit I decided to hit us hard with not only starting our 1000 Hours Outside challenge but also taking away screens at the same time (at least during the week) right at the beginning of our year!

Monster punting the football at 7am on a Saturday

They pretty hated me for two days because they got their chores done and *gasp* didn’t get screens afterwards (insert horror scream here). Instead they played with LEGO, we have gone to the park, we have ridden bikes, played football with the neighbors, and gone on a walk, made chalk pictures, and eaten ice cream. We started 6 days ago and already have almost 21 hours hours logged. They won’t hate it forever. Because soon it will become part of them.

Playing in the stream in the Smoky Mountains

They will see trees, sticks, streams, insects, and everything in between, as home. They will learn to observe nature, care for nature, and experience nature and all of its beauty. They will ground themselves in their surroundings, get natural vitamin D, learn to listen to their body, explore, learn, and live. Is it the right thing for us to do? I don’t know. But I do know that I have said yes to going outside a lot more than I have said no to screens in the past 2 days. And for that, I may just make it to 1000 this year.

How my son hurting himself, helped me

ChelseaLeave a comment

I’m sure you are thinking “Wow, she is crazy for thinking her son being hurt is a good thing.” But first, he is fine, nothing major, just needs to rest. And second, life lessons come in the weirdest forms. You can’t always control it.

See, I am working on presence and patience with my kids. Something that, especially lately, I have not had enough of. But something shifted today. Not because I spent more time with them or even was more patient with them, but because I realized the more I create the foundation of the family and fill in those cracks, the more solid they can build our walls. So let’s get on with it.

Beautifully clean bathroom

Let’s start with this bathroom. Does this bathroom look like a 10 year old cleaned it?! No?

Because he didn’t. He took a spill today while riding. And while he saved himself more pain because he hopped off instead of straight falling off, he managed to twist his ankle in the process.

But today was his day to clean the bathroom. Typically, I would have let it go. What’s one time of missing the bathroom being clean? Ultimately nothing. We would survive, the bathroom would get clean next week, and life would go on.

But what if I cleaned it for him? What if I took the 15-20 minutes and cleaned it myself? This…

He saw that it is ok to rest when he needs to.

He saw that family, helps family.

He saw that Mom can be lenient and understanding. (Something he probably doesn’t see enough)

He saw that we all live here and are responsible for the state of the house.

He saw that he doesn’t have to do it all (though he will probably still tell you he does).

And what did I gain? A child who can find peace and know resting is ok because we will be there to help.

Oh… And a MUCH cleaner bathroom than he would have had… But baby steps…🤷‍♀️🤣

But what about the big kids?

ChelseaLeave a comment

I talk a lot about my kids in general. But I know I ramble more about the “when they were little” phases. You know sleepless nights, potty training, and teething.

When they are little all those problems you encounter are new and seem huge and hard to manage. You aren’t sure what to expect. And not to mention you are dealing with them on very little sleep and even less caffeine because of course you don’t know where you left your coffee this morning! Even after working with kids in one capacity or another for more than 10 years before having my first child, I still didn’t know things. I guessed… A lot! I knew the development. I knew the rough ages of what they should be learning and when. I knew how to potty train. I knew I didn’t want them to have a pacifier past one year (insert eye roll here).

Now don’t get me wrong. I have GREAT kids. Honestly! For the most part, they are respectful, well behaved, mostly good listeners, and they have good hearts. They drive me nuts a lot of the time but all in all I can’t complain and honestly, I’m not sure it is because of me. But I digress.

See what I am noticing though is that we are moving into this new phase. Most of you know it or at least remember it. It is this time of finding your voice and who you are, being awkward, making bad decisions and even worse fashion statements. We are entering… the TWEEN years. (Bum bum buuuuuum)

But see these are not the years I am accustomed to. I don’t know how to handle these years, especially for boys! I barely made it through these years as a girl (which I am also not looking forward to in about 8 years with Mermaid). I surely was not paying attention to how my male cohorts experienced these years. Now yes, my husband is familiar and takes an active role in these situations but where are the I’m a mom of a tween boy posts. For real though, can you moms who have been there, done that start making infographics and blogs and quick study stuff for these years because it is happening and happening fast!

Here’s what I have learned so far… It isn’t much as we are just about to hit 11 so follow up with me in say 2-4 years and I’ll let you know how wrong I was

  • Try to remember at this point privacy is becoming a big thing. Knocking on doors, giving them alone time, etc. It teaches them to respect your space as much as they would like theirs respected.
  • They still need hugs and kisses. They may not show it often, but they still have a little bit of little kid in them that needs the affection.
  • They are finding their voice and sometimes they can cut you deep (because, SURPRISE, they legit are with you now). But if you listen to what they say, you may just realize that they are telling you exactly what they need, just maybe in a jumbled mess of big emotions
  • Their interests can literally be anything. With as much as I would love to not listen to a 30 minute lecture on the healing power of 3 common crystals, or a 15 minutes diatribe on a Pokémon I have never even heard of, or have him talk to me in sentences that have 1 or 2 words replaced with their Latin counterpart, I also will NEVER squash those interests because they are important to him.
  • I need to reach out more. I can’t expect him to come to me. He is too anxious of a person and too timid to admit that he “doesn’t know” something and so I have to go to him and sneak in those little lessons through a back door conversation

See it isn’t much, but I’m learning also. I’m learning to apologize when I do something wrong. I am learning that I have to deal with my emotions appropriately if I want them to do the same (oh hey ADHD and anxiety! Thanks for that!). I am trying to get better about privacy for all of my children, because it is about respect. I know I am going to screw up. He’s the first. But we will still get through this together. And I am hoping that taking the time this year to really learn and bond with each other, it will be a huge step in the right direction.

I can say this… He still hugs me and tells me he loves me and that means the world to me❤️ So maybe I’m doing something right🤷‍♀️

The Snuggles Don’t End Here

Chelsea3 Comments

I read an article today. And as I was reading it, I could relate to it by being a mom, but as a homeschooling mom, I just kept thinking, “How sad!” This article was talking about soaking up the snuggles. Enjoying the peace of the early years and especially the early months because the snuggles end, kids need you less, and you can’t always protect them or watch over them.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy those early snuggles too. You know, the ones before they can wiggle out of your arms. The ones where they look at you like you are the beginning and end of their world (because you are). The times where you can just sit and be with them because they don’t need you to do anything other than hold them. Those early days are great.

But this article was stating how you have to let go and miss those days when kindergarten starts. How they become less dependent on you as time goes by. How as they get older, they don’t want to snuggle with you. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad because it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you foster the relationship. Now, I’m not saying stunt them and make them rely on you for everything but it is ok for them to still want to connect with you.

See in our little world, weekly snuggle sessions are just a given with all of our children. Hugs and kisses through out the day, I don’t care how old you are. I teach my children to be independent and do for themselves but just because they can do it for themselves, doesn’t mean I won’t still do it for them also. If they want me to make them a smoothie, I will make it if I am able to. Are they also able to make it, absolutely. But they are also learning that sometimes it is ok to ask for help. Just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you are alone. I think independence is important but I also think learning that family is who you can depend on is also important. My children are 10 ½, 8 ½, and 3. They all snuggle with me. They all hug me everyday. They all depend on me for different things at different times. They all also understand I will support them in any way I can, while I foster their learning and personal growth. I carry them while teaching them the skills to be independent. I allow them to spread their wings with the safety of me being there to catch them.

I would never say this is unique to homeschoolers as I am sure many public school children are still this way. I would also never say homeschoolers can’t be less snuggly and more independent, I know many of them. What I am saying is I don’t have to miss those moments. I don’t have to wonder what is happening at school today and if they will tell me. When they get hurt, I get to make them feel better, not a teacher who has 30 other children to also deal with. But me, their mama, who has been there comforting them since the moment they were born. When they have a great success, I get to share their joy. I get to watch over and protect them. They get the freedom they need with the safety net to make mistakes and be caught by someone who won’t ever stop loving them. They get to learn that mistakes are going to happen, but I will always be here to help them clean them up. They get to learn boundaries while being reassured that they are allowed to feel however they feel.

Yes, the days are long, and the years are short. But I get to see it all. I get to still be needed even after school begins. They don’t have to look to a teacher. They don’t have to look to a friend. Mom and Dad are always here, always willing to help, and always willing to learn along side you. We are in this all together and I love every second of it.

The Perfect Life

ChelseaLeave a comment

I have been thinking about this for a week. I wasn’t sure if I was going to write it. But I think I need to. I need to for me and I need to for the mom or dad who is struggling and needs to know they aren’t alone.

A little back story. My oldest has had a rough couple weeks. Like seriously… rough. He is at the age of testing boundaries and feeling like he is grown enough to make his own choices but is still only 9 so those choices are not always the greatest. He got in trouble for a myriad of things and therefore was not allowed to participate in a play date with friends. I wanted to spend time with her and her family, so I was not about to cancel something that my 2 other kids and I were looking forward to because *he* couldn’t make the right choice, especially because I had already done that with another friend that week. While hanging out at the playground, my friend couldn’t believe that my child was in trouble. She even said that she thinks of my life as perfect and that my kids could never do anything wrong. (If you are that friend, seriously this isn’t about what you said, I love you and this is just because I want you to know your life is no less perfect than mine😘)

I am here to tell you…. it isn’t and he did.

Because I am not perfect. I am far from perfect. I yell, I cry, I am lazy and somedays I struggle holding my little life together. My house is a mess more days than not. I am horrible at communicating my needs (ask my husband). I live with anxiety and a form of depression. I read books to learn to be a better person because I am not fully the person I want to be or saw myself being. I forget things on a regular basis, like moving laundry, calling my parents back, taking stuff to goodwill, and even making doctors appointments for my children’s well visits. I rarely have a good night’s sleep and I take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I spend WAY too much time on my phone, which causes me to think I am failing in all sorts of ways (you know what I am talking about…). I have trouble letting go of things (both physical and mental) even though I know my life would be less chaotic if I did. I worry about things that I said to someone 3 years ago. I drink way too much coffee and I relax with a glass of wine or 2 a couple times a week. I let things slip through the cracks that I know I shouldn’t.

My children are not perfect either. They are good kids, don’t get me wrong. Honestly, if there is one thing I am confident in, it is being a mom. I will always do my best to aim them in the right direction. But that doesn’t mean they won’t stray. They have their own free will and they are going to make the wrong choices. It is part of growing up. My job is to show them that their actions, good or bad have consequences. They have attitudes, they don’t want to do chores, and they get their Switch taken away at least 2x a month. They have lied, hurt things and people, attempted to steal (yep, not a proud moment for me), thrown fits, yelled, got toys taken away, haven’t clean up after themselves, and pissed me off more times than I can count.

My kids are homeschooled, as most of you know. But that doesn’t mean our days always go smoothly. They get frustrated with school, just like every kid. They hate when things get hard and they don’t get it right away. They don’t like doing busy work that seems like it has no reason for it. They would prefer to play video games or go outside or play with LEGO. They hate to write, complain about math, and science and history are almost non-existent right now because I was tired of fighting about them. Some days I want to give it up and put them in public school. But honestly it just isn’t for our family. My stresses would increase 10 fold if I did and, yes, part of the reason I homeschool is because of my own stress. #callmeselfishidontcare

I aim for perfection. I rarely hit my target. But I struggle when I don’t hit it because I am a perfectionist. I want the perfect house with the perfectly groomed kids who always listen and I meet each day with a joyous attitude and everything is beautifully decorated and has a place. I want the Instagram dream life. This is a dream that will never happen. Not until they are out of the house at least, and then I am going to miss these days because it will be quiet and I will be drinking hot coffee and reading a book and missing stepping on LEGO and playing tea party.

In reality, at this exact moment, I have a 2 year old who just finished her first of probably 3 movies of the day. My 7 year old is throwing a Scentsy Scentpak around and then running after it (not really sure why) while dressed in dress pants and a torn tee shirt. And my 9 year old is getting frustrated that the 7 year old keeps running in front of his video game while wearing long sleeves and sweat pants despite being told at least twice that it is too hot for that. None of their teeth are brushed because they ran out of toothpaste yesterday morning and I didn’t want to go to the store. I have dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink, laundry in the washer and dryer that has been there for 3 days, my bathrooms are gross, our dining/school room are a mess, there is a random bag of rubber bands strewn about my couch along with a ton of Duplo. We won’t be doing any school today, just like every Friday, because I. don’t. want. to. My hair is up in the same bun since Wednesday night, I am in the pjs I wore yesterday, I’ll shower when I can (probably naptime), and I have a zit on my forehead. I can tell I am having a rough mental day, although I haven’t lost my crap today (yet)! I am behind on orders and working with my UBAM business. I still have to run to the store to get the stuff for the beach that I forgot last week and the stuff I forgot for our dinner tonight and toothpaste since I didn’t know we were out.

My life isn’t perfect. If you look at my pictures, they are cropped because of the mess in the background. I show my kids reading, because yes they like to do that, but they also like to play with swords and at least once a day someone is hurt by their brother or sister. My dogs still have accidents in the house. I will loose my temper today. You may see a picture of my little one in a cute mermaid dress with a coordinating bow, but it probably took me 5 tries to get her smiling or not blurred. I am not perfect and my life isn’t perfect. But this morning, I woke up and I kissed my husband who loves me unconditionally in our messy unmade bed (and it will stay that way). I got my 3 kids up and ready in (probably) clean clothing and fed them decently healthy breakfasts. The boys have already destroyed their room with LEGO, my Mermaid is being a great “Mommy” to her babies. They are home with me. They are learning through life. We are figuring out things together. It isn’t Instagram worthy. It is messy, tiring, and not usually pretty. But just like your life, it isn’t perfect, but it is still great in its imperfections.