Tag: being present

Momming Basket

ChelseaLeave a comment

Yep you read that right. Momming. Nope it isn’t a real word but I am not talking about a morning basket and for lack of a better imagination Momming is the best I came up with.

Most homeschoolers by now have heard of a morning basket. A calm start to the say where you can read, play, and just work into the day. These are beautiful ways to start the morning with your children. From poetry or reading to board games and beads, your morning basket can be anything you want it to be and be used anyway you want it to be also. But enough about that because that isn’t what you came here for. You came here for a momming basket.

What is a Momming Basket?

Well just like a morning basket helps ease the children into the day, a momming basket eases YOU into the day. That is, it helps you go from sleeping to functioning in a basic but productive, engaging, positive way. It is the beginning of your day signaling your brain that sleep is no longer an option however maybe the waking hours aren’t all that bad. And it eases your brain and body into a basic functioning level to be ready for the demands and requests from the beautiful little monsters you corral each day.

Basic

We are not looking to disprove the theory of evolution here. We are simply trying to wake up the brain. Make it think about more than R-O-Y-G-B-I-V and Fractions., while also not over working it to the point that it gives up and can barely think of names. You want this to be light thinking. My favorites are EASY crosswords (they make me feel smarter when I do them on my own) or Sudoku. I also found this fun Jeopardy Challenge crossword book at my local Barnes & Noble that lets you solve jeopardy clues to find in the word search. I love Jeopardy (RIP Alex Trebek, it isn’t the same with out you) so this is just a fun little incentive for me to do it more.

Another option would be learning a new language. I am committing to learning more ASL this year so I am doing a shorter basics class on Udemy. I also am taking a break at this point but will eventually pick back up DuoLingo for Italian and Japanese. 5-10 minutes for a lesson is perfect for a momming basket because it doesn’t take up a ton of time but it isn’t so short you feel like you aren’t learning anything.

Engaging

You want to look forward to it. Help it be one of the reasons you look forward to getting out of bed in the morning. Or not. You could sit it right next to your bed and do it before you even rise for the day. If am the person that if I stay in bed I will just go back to sleep so the faster I get up and moving the better off I will be. Plus, I am not really awake until I have had that first sip of coffee in the A.M. This can mean that it have something fun for you to do. What do you enjoy doing? Something with your hands would be a great addition. Think coloring, knitting/crocheting, cross-stitch, painting (a little messier but you do you boo-boo), drawing, even painting your fingernails. Something that gets your hands moving and lets a little creativity out!

No one is going to see this if you don’t want them to. You can be as creative as you want and you don’t have to be good at it. You just have to enjoy it. Do you love to draw but don’t think you are good? Draw anyway, or better yet follow a drawing channel on YouTube. I love Art for Kids Hub because I can follow along and they make me feel like I am a really good artist. They also have a few tutorials on Art Next that is geared for older people that I really enjoyed and thought were excellent. Have you always wanted to learn how to knit. Watch some how to videos and make small dishrags until you get the hang of it and are more comfortable with making more intricate things.

Positive

You could also find yourself buying or creating a journal for thoughts actions and gratitude. Think of 3 things each day that your are thankful for. It is also a little boring to write that you are thankful for your house, and husband and kids. And while those are important, I definitely think you could probably be a little more original. Journaling is just one of many ways you can do all of these things. You could choose to do a video, a dream/vision board, read a book or anything that helps you have a positive outlook on the day

Last, you want this to be full of those feel good feelings because we want to start the day off right and seep that positive energy into our body and surrounding environment. This can be as easy as a short (or long) meditation. Focusing on your breathing and inhaling positive and exhaling negative

How do you implement this?

So when do you find the time to do this? Well if you are like me you have 2 options. Set the alarm clock for 1 hour before your children get up. Hit snooze 4 times and then get to it while your children are all (semi)settled with breakfast but have to cut it short because milk just got spilled and then you forgot and so you will finish it when you get home later.

Or… If you have any sense of self-control and the ability to wake up on time for anything in their life, you can do it before your children wake up or after if you have the ability to enjoy it while your children are jumping off the refrigerator. Oh, that is just mine? Cool.

This isn’t meant to last all day or even half the day it is just something for you to do to take care of your brain and your mental care. I wouldn’t dedicate more than about 30minutes to an hour to it. 15 minutes is even enough to get this started. If you don’t finish something you can put it off until tomorrow. Like I said, this isn’t going to be seen by anyone else, This is just for you. Have fun with it and come back and show me what you put in your first momming basket.

How my son hurting himself, helped me

ChelseaLeave a comment

I’m sure you are thinking “Wow, she is crazy for thinking her son being hurt is a good thing.” But first, he is fine, nothing major, just needs to rest. And second, life lessons come in the weirdest forms. You can’t always control it.

See, I am working on presence and patience with my kids. Something that, especially lately, I have not had enough of. But something shifted today. Not because I spent more time with them or even was more patient with them, but because I realized the more I create the foundation of the family and fill in those cracks, the more solid they can build our walls. So let’s get on with it.

Beautifully clean bathroom

Let’s start with this bathroom. Does this bathroom look like a 10 year old cleaned it?! No?

Because he didn’t. He took a spill today while riding. And while he saved himself more pain because he hopped off instead of straight falling off, he managed to twist his ankle in the process.

But today was his day to clean the bathroom. Typically, I would have let it go. What’s one time of missing the bathroom being clean? Ultimately nothing. We would survive, the bathroom would get clean next week, and life would go on.

But what if I cleaned it for him? What if I took the 15-20 minutes and cleaned it myself? This…

He saw that it is ok to rest when he needs to.

He saw that family, helps family.

He saw that Mom can be lenient and understanding. (Something he probably doesn’t see enough)

He saw that we all live here and are responsible for the state of the house.

He saw that he doesn’t have to do it all (though he will probably still tell you he does).

And what did I gain? A child who can find peace and know resting is ok because we will be there to help.

Oh… And a MUCH cleaner bathroom than he would have had… But baby steps…🤷‍♀️🤣

But what about the big kids?

ChelseaLeave a comment

I talk a lot about my kids in general. But I know I ramble more about the “when they were little” phases. You know sleepless nights, potty training, and teething.

When they are little all those problems you encounter are new and seem huge and hard to manage. You aren’t sure what to expect. And not to mention you are dealing with them on very little sleep and even less caffeine because of course you don’t know where you left your coffee this morning! Even after working with kids in one capacity or another for more than 10 years before having my first child, I still didn’t know things. I guessed… A lot! I knew the development. I knew the rough ages of what they should be learning and when. I knew how to potty train. I knew I didn’t want them to have a pacifier past one year (insert eye roll here).

Now don’t get me wrong. I have GREAT kids. Honestly! For the most part, they are respectful, well behaved, mostly good listeners, and they have good hearts. They drive me nuts a lot of the time but all in all I can’t complain and honestly, I’m not sure it is because of me. But I digress.

See what I am noticing though is that we are moving into this new phase. Most of you know it or at least remember it. It is this time of finding your voice and who you are, being awkward, making bad decisions and even worse fashion statements. We are entering… the TWEEN years. (Bum bum buuuuuum)

But see these are not the years I am accustomed to. I don’t know how to handle these years, especially for boys! I barely made it through these years as a girl (which I am also not looking forward to in about 8 years with Mermaid). I surely was not paying attention to how my male cohorts experienced these years. Now yes, my husband is familiar and takes an active role in these situations but where are the I’m a mom of a tween boy posts. For real though, can you moms who have been there, done that start making infographics and blogs and quick study stuff for these years because it is happening and happening fast!

Here’s what I have learned so far… It isn’t much as we are just about to hit 11 so follow up with me in say 2-4 years and I’ll let you know how wrong I was

  • Try to remember at this point privacy is becoming a big thing. Knocking on doors, giving them alone time, etc. It teaches them to respect your space as much as they would like theirs respected.
  • They still need hugs and kisses. They may not show it often, but they still have a little bit of little kid in them that needs the affection.
  • They are finding their voice and sometimes they can cut you deep (because, SURPRISE, they legit are with you now). But if you listen to what they say, you may just realize that they are telling you exactly what they need, just maybe in a jumbled mess of big emotions
  • Their interests can literally be anything. With as much as I would love to not listen to a 30 minute lecture on the healing power of 3 common crystals, or a 15 minutes diatribe on a Pokémon I have never even heard of, or have him talk to me in sentences that have 1 or 2 words replaced with their Latin counterpart, I also will NEVER squash those interests because they are important to him.
  • I need to reach out more. I can’t expect him to come to me. He is too anxious of a person and too timid to admit that he “doesn’t know” something and so I have to go to him and sneak in those little lessons through a back door conversation

See it isn’t much, but I’m learning also. I’m learning to apologize when I do something wrong. I am learning that I have to deal with my emotions appropriately if I want them to do the same (oh hey ADHD and anxiety! Thanks for that!). I am trying to get better about privacy for all of my children, because it is about respect. I know I am going to screw up. He’s the first. But we will still get through this together. And I am hoping that taking the time this year to really learn and bond with each other, it will be a huge step in the right direction.

I can say this… He still hugs me and tells me he loves me and that means the world to me❤️ So maybe I’m doing something right🤷‍♀️

The Snuggles Don’t End Here

Chelsea3 Comments

I read an article today. And as I was reading it, I could relate to it by being a mom, but as a homeschooling mom, I just kept thinking, “How sad!” This article was talking about soaking up the snuggles. Enjoying the peace of the early years and especially the early months because the snuggles end, kids need you less, and you can’t always protect them or watch over them.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy those early snuggles too. You know, the ones before they can wiggle out of your arms. The ones where they look at you like you are the beginning and end of their world (because you are). The times where you can just sit and be with them because they don’t need you to do anything other than hold them. Those early days are great.

But this article was stating how you have to let go and miss those days when kindergarten starts. How they become less dependent on you as time goes by. How as they get older, they don’t want to snuggle with you. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad because it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you foster the relationship. Now, I’m not saying stunt them and make them rely on you for everything but it is ok for them to still want to connect with you.

See in our little world, weekly snuggle sessions are just a given with all of our children. Hugs and kisses through out the day, I don’t care how old you are. I teach my children to be independent and do for themselves but just because they can do it for themselves, doesn’t mean I won’t still do it for them also. If they want me to make them a smoothie, I will make it if I am able to. Are they also able to make it, absolutely. But they are also learning that sometimes it is ok to ask for help. Just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you are alone. I think independence is important but I also think learning that family is who you can depend on is also important. My children are 10 ½, 8 ½, and 3. They all snuggle with me. They all hug me everyday. They all depend on me for different things at different times. They all also understand I will support them in any way I can, while I foster their learning and personal growth. I carry them while teaching them the skills to be independent. I allow them to spread their wings with the safety of me being there to catch them.

I would never say this is unique to homeschoolers as I am sure many public school children are still this way. I would also never say homeschoolers can’t be less snuggly and more independent, I know many of them. What I am saying is I don’t have to miss those moments. I don’t have to wonder what is happening at school today and if they will tell me. When they get hurt, I get to make them feel better, not a teacher who has 30 other children to also deal with. But me, their mama, who has been there comforting them since the moment they were born. When they have a great success, I get to share their joy. I get to watch over and protect them. They get the freedom they need with the safety net to make mistakes and be caught by someone who won’t ever stop loving them. They get to learn that mistakes are going to happen, but I will always be here to help them clean them up. They get to learn boundaries while being reassured that they are allowed to feel however they feel.

Yes, the days are long, and the years are short. But I get to see it all. I get to still be needed even after school begins. They don’t have to look to a teacher. They don’t have to look to a friend. Mom and Dad are always here, always willing to help, and always willing to learn along side you. We are in this all together and I love every second of it.

Beginning Our Year Off Right

ChelseaLeave a comment

Last year was tough for everyone. People stopped working, kids weren’t going to school in person, people were getting sick, people were getting laid off, people were basically stuck in solitude. So much changed and so quickly. Certain things were easier to handle for homeschoolers, because many of us are already stay-at-home parents and our kids are already home. But a lot of people thought we had it easy.

In ways we did, but in a lot of ways we were just as inconvenienced, annoyed, and affected by the changes. Despite the stigma around homeschooling, we are not the unsocialized recluses we are usually made out to be. We go out and experience the world on a daily basis participating in classes, field trips, co-ops, clubs, groups, meet-ups, and just learning through life. By the end of the year, our family was so tired of being shut out from the world that we were all struggling just being around each other. Not being able to get away from each other takes its toll on any relationship and that doesn’t exclude homeschooling families.

So after a ROUGH end to last year, I knew things needed to change. By rough, I mean tears were involved for more than one (ok, ALL) of us and we didn’t even finish our curriculum (sorry, not sorry). However, even without finishing the curriculum, the boys did fabulous on their end of the year testing. They tested way above what they needed to show proof of progress for our state and hit much higher than their grade level.

Monster with the only part of our curriculum we did finish last year

So what was I really worrying about? Keeping up? Finishing curriculum? My children falling behind? Failing them?

The truth is, all of the above. But the biggest issue with all of that is, with as bad as it sounds, no one besides me cares. I don’t need to keep up with anyone. No one checks to make sure I have given them all the worksheets from the curriculum or that we worked 180 days or x amount of hours for the year. My children consistently test well above the minimum required to show progress in our state. I am obviously only failing them in thinking I am failing them. They are actually thriving despite my extremely high expectations. At this point I knew the problem wasn’t with them. It was with 1 of 2 things. 1) Our Curriculum or 2) Me. Let me tell you, it wasn’t our curriculum…

I had taken the fun out of learning because I was so worried that I wasn’t doing “enough”. I didn’t think we worked on Language Arts enough. I didn’t think we worked on Science or Art enough. I didn’t think we talked about History enough. But what really wasn’t enough was having fun and instilling the love of learning. I had forgotten one of the main reasons we started homeschooling to begin with. So over the summer, I really came to terms with what was enough and thought hard about our lifestyle and what would bring some joy back into our school day.

The first thing I implemented was allowing them to have a say in what they learned. Does this mean I let them choose whether they got to do math or not? Of course I didn’t. But they each picked subjects they wanted to dive into. We set up an entire basket that we sift through monthly. In our “Daybreak Basket” (AKA Morning Basket) I set up fun activities, games, puzzles, sensory activities, and more all centered around that topic. I add in lots of fun, factual books for them to explore and read to learn about the topic. For some families who use this, it is a small part of their day but for us it is almost as long as our “formal” school. We sit together as a family and bond over activities, reading, and having fun. It has been a great transition into our day and really helps keep the rest of the day on track.

Working at the table on Language Arts
Working together on Language Arts

The second is being more present. I am sitting with them, teaching them, and involved with them from the time they start until the time we are done. This seems like a simple task, but as a mom who also has a 2 year old and runs a small business out of the house at the same time, it was very easy to get distracted by other things and leave them to their own devices. Especially because the curricula we use is open-and-go. For Math, a video can teach them and they get it. Language is pretty self explanatory and a lot of learning through reading, which they both do amazingly. Everything else is similar or could, in theory, be dropped because it is not tracked. So for me, scheduling my day so I can take the time to make sure that they are on task and understanding is critical. Because they are getting what they need and staying on track, the fights are basically non-existent.

Just these two things have made such a difference in the couple of weeks that we have been doing school this year. It has allowed us to stay on track and get all of our subjects in while having fun. Some days are more stressful and scheduled than others, especially during football season. Some days are a little looser and we still take Fridays off (or we use it to catch up if we didn’t finish because that 100% happens). But as this continues, it is becoming easier and I am realizing it takes much less time to get through our day than it did last year. We are learning so much more and the joy has spilled over into all aspects of our life. It is helping us enjoy each other’s company and by the end of the day they have had so much fun and worked so hard, I enjoy letting them get extra treats or fun stuff.

Exploring chemical and physical differences for science.

What has been the best part of your school year so far?