The Snuggles Don’t End Here

I read an article today. And as I was reading it, I could relate to it by being a mom, but as a homeschooling mom, I just kept thinking, “How sad!” This article was talking about soaking up the snuggles. Enjoying the peace of the early years and especially the early months because the snuggles end, kids need you less, and you can’t always protect them or watch over them.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy those early snuggles too. You know, the ones before they can wiggle out of your arms. The ones where they look at you like you are the beginning and end of their world (because you are). The times where you can just sit and be with them because they don’t need you to do anything other than hold them. Those early days are great.

But this article was stating how you have to let go and miss those days when kindergarten starts. How they become less dependent on you as time goes by. How as they get older, they don’t want to snuggle with you. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad because it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you foster the relationship. Now, I’m not saying stunt them and make them rely on you for everything but it is ok for them to still want to connect with you.

See in our little world, weekly snuggle sessions are just a given with all of our children. Hugs and kisses through out the day, I don’t care how old you are. I teach my children to be independent and do for themselves but just because they can do it for themselves, doesn’t mean I won’t still do it for them also. If they want me to make them a smoothie, I will make it if I am able to. Are they also able to make it, absolutely. But they are also learning that sometimes it is ok to ask for help. Just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you are alone. I think independence is important but I also think learning that family is who you can depend on is also important. My children are 10 ½, 8 ½, and 3. They all snuggle with me. They all hug me everyday. They all depend on me for different things at different times. They all also understand I will support them in any way I can, while I foster their learning and personal growth. I carry them while teaching them the skills to be independent. I allow them to spread their wings with the safety of me being there to catch them.

I would never say this is unique to homeschoolers as I am sure many public school children are still this way. I would also never say homeschoolers can’t be less snuggly and more independent, I know many of them. What I am saying is I don’t have to miss those moments. I don’t have to wonder what is happening at school today and if they will tell me. When they get hurt, I get to make them feel better, not a teacher who has 30 other children to also deal with. But me, their mama, who has been there comforting them since the moment they were born. When they have a great success, I get to share their joy. I get to watch over and protect them. They get the freedom they need with the safety net to make mistakes and be caught by someone who won’t ever stop loving them. They get to learn that mistakes are going to happen, but I will always be here to help them clean them up. They get to learn boundaries while being reassured that they are allowed to feel however they feel.

Yes, the days are long, and the years are short. But I get to see it all. I get to still be needed even after school begins. They don’t have to look to a teacher. They don’t have to look to a friend. Mom and Dad are always here, always willing to help, and always willing to learn along side you. We are in this all together and I love every second of it.