I get a lot of comments of “I don’t know how you do it.” “You’re Superwoman” or “How do you find the time?”. The truth is, I don’t know. As you know, I have three kids ages 8, 6, and 16 months. I homeschool the older ones, I entertain the little one. I have two dogs I let out, and in, and back out again and again each day. I have a business (2, actually, but one is an MLM and is pretty small and they do the hard stuff for me) and I try to maintain a relationship with my husband and try to keep up my house. But I do it because I have to. Let me rephrase that, I am not required to. If I didn’t do it, our lives wouldn’t end.
I do this because I want to do it. (Pre pandemic life~》)My husband goes to work all day and I am fortunate to stay home. I have been a work outside the house mom though, I do know what it is like and the unique challenges and feelings it presents. I have been a receptionist, nannied, watched kids at my home, and I was a 911 dispatcher for almost 3 years. And in those times I kept coming back to the same thought. I want to be at home with my kids. I want to raise them. I want to teach them. I want to provide for them.
This was not at all how I thought it would be though, this was not my life vision 10 years ago. When I was pregnant with my Monkey man 9 years ago, I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom. The only reason I had resigned to it was because at the time, me going back to the job I had at a daycare center would have paid for his day care and my gas to get there. Doesn’t make sense in any way. Then I had him. And I snuggled him and loved on him and I couldn’t imagine leaving him with someone else all day.
Then I had Monster 2 years later. I needed to work then. I needed to help provide but with 2 kids in just over 2 years, daycare would have been astronomical and the hubby worked weird hours and I couldn’t find a job that paid and had the schedule I needed. I had knitted a few blankets for friends’ baby showers and made a couple bibs and burp cloths that people liked after getting a sewing machine for my birthday. People kept telling me to sell them. So I started an Etsy. Six and a half years ago Haruko Designs started as a knit blanket and bib shop named HandKrafted4Kids. It has changed but it has always been mine and it has always been my little contribution and my happy place.
I did eventually find the 911 Dispatching job, which I did love. I met a couple people I know that they are the reason I got that job. Fate knew I needed them in my life. That job taught me a lot about myself. But mostly, it taught me that I didn’t want the “village” raising my kids. Then, we got word that my husband would be overseas for 12 months. Leaving 2 weeks before my oldest would start Kindergarten. For a lot of reasons delaying school seemed like the best option. I told the school district he wasn’t ready and we choose to homeschool Kindergarten at a slow, easy pace. It just so happened that right after my husband left, our babysitter quit and I couldn’t find anyone to watch the boys so I had to quit my job. I did eventually go back part time for a year and a half (that was not originally an option). But about 9 months after my husband came home we decided to try for our 3rd and so once Mermaid came Dispatch was no longer a priority.
This is longer and more drawn out than I really was going for. But it had to be. Because it explains how I do it. I do it because I want to do it. Each of these things that “amaze” people were choices made along the way because of priorities set by my husband and I. I could fold up shop and go back to a 9-5. I could put my kids in public school. I honestly could stay home and not work my business and send the kids to school and just have the toddler to run after and my house would be really clean all the time. But those are not my priorities or what I feel like I need to do in my heart.
My days are messy and chaotic. My alarm is set for 630 every morning even weekends (although I don’t always get out of bed right away). And I usually am not asleep before midnight (it is 11:28pm right now). From the time I am up to the time I go to sleep, I do what needs to be done. Today that was sitting on the couch with my husband doing crossword puzzles while the kids played this morning, working in my office on stuff during naptime, and cleaning up our backyard and cooking dinner this evening. Saturday it was me power washing our porch, working on orders during naptime and a family movie night to end the day.
It is all about balance. Your priorities dictate your choices. Your choices dictate your actions. Your actions dictate your time. Your time dictates your life. I am not perfect by any means. I have been humbled by asking for help and receiving it from some of the people dearest to me, (usually our parents). They literally would do anything they are capable of to help us and because of that we are where we are. I don’t do anymore than the next person and I still only have 24 hours in my day to get things done. I have 3 kids because we chose every single one of them. I have a business because it makes me happy to create things other people feel are special enough to want for themselves. I homeschool because I want my kids to love learning and I want them to learn naturally and through living books and exploration. Not sitting at a desk and learning facts and stats through repetition and regurgitation.
My flaws are many. My house is a mess. There are constantly piles of clothes, toys are everywhere, and almost guaranteed there is a sink full of dirty dishes. I skip homeschooling for things like sunny days and movie days and Mommy (or kid) doesn’t want to days. My husband is patient and loves me when I have vinyl stuck to my pants or thread in my messy bun and I have orders to get done so we don’t get our time that day. I get stressed, soooo stressed. I yell, more than I probably should. I forget things… often. You may see Superwoman, I see supertired mom.
So there you have it. I’m not Superwoman. I will continue to be a Mom to my 3 crazies, I will continue to build my businesses, I will continue to homeschool if it make sense for our family, I will continue to love my husband. I will continue to work long hours to build my life the way I want to build it because that is what is in my heart. I do what I do for my family because it is what I want and have to do because of my priorities. Maybe I am Superwoman. But guess what… so are you ❤
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