My Typical Reality

The past 2 weeks my office has exploded in a blur of cotton fabric, interfacing, and elastic. Between donations and ordering supplies I have stuff EVERYWHERE. I did get Mermaid’s play area done and so she can happily play away in her little kitchen and ball pit and other toys while I work. Most days she is content as long as we have music going that she can dance to… I think she is going to be a little ballerina (although if she is anything like me, ballet won’t last long and she will move onto tap or jazz).

I really wanted to do a big reveal of a cleaned up area and a beautifully organized office space! But masks are much more important right now. I am so blown away with the generosity of people. Almost every person who has gotten a mask from me has donated something to help others get masks as well.

I have been trying to be like every other quarantined person. You know, getting my house in order while homeschooling, and working. I keep starting in one area and then find another area, and then another, and only a little gets done at a time. I am a horrible about that. I lose focus easily when I start projects and then I feel like I have been working all day and have nothing to show for it. Does anyone else do that? So far I have started cleaning off our porch and power washing it, started cleaning out our basement (creating a mound of laundry and another mound of trash that needs to be brought up and out), started cleaning our closet out (which made another mound of clothing), cleaned out the kids clothes (yep, another mound of clothes) and moved a mattress that needs to be trashed to our hallway but now is just sitting there.

Like I said I am horrible with the follow through of tasks. Everything gets half done and so I try to work with to-so list. I am a visual person so having it written out each day with the ability to check off a list is a huge help to me. I think it is the perfectionist in me. I feel so accomplished when I actually am able to check off every box. But that also comes with having to be a realist and not an over achiever. This is not something that comes easily to me. I am competitive. I always feel like I have to do it better and be the best and that I can’t fail. I set unrealistic expectations for myself and very rarely meet them. No one has ever put more pressure on me than myself.

My parents pushed me to do my best, but never questioned if I was doing my best. My friends are all the most understanding people in the world. They are the beautiful souls I can stop talking to for months (and yes that happens, I am a horrible friend) and we pick up right where we left off. My husband loves that I do what I can during the day and supports me staying home with the kids. I am sure there are days he wishes the house weren’t a mess when he comes home, but he never complains about it. He asks if there is anything he can do to help, especially on those days he can tell I am done. And my kids… they are the real heroes. They put up with my crazy perfectionism through out the day. They see me fail and get upset with myself. They see me in every way possible and they still love me. They are happy with me not being perfect. They are okay as long as they are fed and loved. If they get a video game they are ecstatic. It doesn’t take much, and I love them for that.

So through all of this (and by this I mean life, not quarantine), whether you are barely keeping your head above water, or getting ALL the things done. Just do the best you can. Even without a pandemic going on, just do the best you can. You don’t have to be perfect. I tell myself this every day. You just need to do something. If your house isn’t perfectly in order, you are normal (and probably have kids). If you started a project and didn’t finish it, you are normal. If you don’t enjoy decorating your house to look like a Fixer Upper episode, then don’t. If you woke up and took a shower today and then sat on the couch, good for you. My only advice is do something each day that betters your mind. If taking a shower puts you in a better place, that is enough. Read a book, that is enough. Make something, that is enough. Play with your children, truly play with them, that is enough. Clean a closet or bathroom. Do dishes. Straighten or curl your hair. Put on mascara or lipstick. Get out of leggings and sweatpants (you would not believe the effect getting dressed has). Vacuum. Play a video game. Paint your nails. Hold hands with your partner. Do an at home date night (seriously Hunt-a-Killer is so fun). Make a meal from scratch. Paint a room. It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, just do something that makes you feel better.

Having bad days is expected. You are going to have them. It is what you do with them that counts. There are days that I make sure my kids are fed and the TV is on the whole day just so I don’t have to entertain them. There are days where I have fun school projects planned, I get 3 orders done, and I make a healthy meal from scratch. It is a balancing act that we all have to face. But one time every day, do something that makes your day, your life, and you better.